Transitions are always challenging times. But transitions are also filled with gifts. I write to you as a parish in transition but also as someone who has been navigating transition for the past few months myself. In my report to the vestry last month, I shared some of what I have learned since last fall. For one, I have learned to live more in the moment, to live day by day, something which is very difficult for me as a planner!
During the first few weeks after I knew I would eventually be moving to Richmond, I was impatient. I thought there was a real chance that I would receive clarity about my next steps quite quickly. But after a few weeks, I realized this was wishful thinking. Once I settled into taking the long view (running the marathon rather than the sprint), things actually became a bit easier for me. I began to understand that job rejections were not personal but, instead, indications that what God had prepared for me was yet to be revealed. With this more comprehensive view, I suddenly became more aware of subtle moments of encouragement from God. An unanticipated text or email from someone would speak just the words I needed to hear, although the sender of the message had little idea of my struggles. I savored each of those little moments of encouragement. They were bread for the journey.
When people approach me about discerning a call to ordained ministry, I speak to them of the gift of time. Early in the discernment process, the temptation is to rush to the finish line and to have everything wrapped up. But waiting patiently for a process to unfold so that the voice of the Spirit becomes clear is, ultimately, the only way true discernment can happen. And it simply takes time.
My invitation to you as you navigate the coming months is to ask God for grace to be patient with yourselves and the process before you. From personal experience, I know this is not easy. But much of the anxiety of our world is the result of impatience. Understandably, there are legitimate concerns you are harboring. Can we keep the momentum in ministry going? Who will our new priest be? Do we have sufficient helping hands to accomplish what we need to do? The gift of patience is that it opens us to God’s surprises. You may learn things through waiting and trusting in God that you wouldn’t have known otherwise. This is all part of discernment.
Having said all this, I believe that there are also concrete things you can be doing while you wait. The first is to pray—pray regularly, pray consistently in community, and pray as your starting place. In the coming weeks, a beautiful spiritual opportunity is available to us as the parish prepares for a transition. I draw your attention to our parish retreat on the weekend of March 20 - 22. The retreat will be led by Brother Ephrem Arcement of the Order of the Holy Cross, an Anglican community of men in West Park, New York. Brother Ephrem has written a very interesting book entitled The Shape of the Church: The Seven Dimensions of Ecclesial Wholeness. Our parish retreat will be structured around Brother Ephrem’s book, and this weekend of prayer can help all of us attend to what makes a parish spiritually balanced and healthy. I strongly encourage you to attend this retreat. There are limited spots available to stay in the retreat house on Friday and Saturday nights, but there are unlimited spots available for the day retreat on Saturday, March 21. Register online as soon as possible so that we can plan for food. This retreat weekend will be spiritually beneficial as we look to the transition period, but also, practically speaking, it is a way for the parish to consider ways of supporting our retreat house ministry. (Please recall that our operating budget depends partly on revenue from the retreat house.)
I also want to mention a few other practical ways you can help to prepare for the transition.
1) Please consider helping out with a lay ministry. After my departure, more lay assistance will be needed to sustain the Daily Office and support our children’s formation program, among others. Complete this online form to indicate your interest in helping with a ministry(ies).
2) Speaking of lay ministries, please make an effort to use Realm as requested if you are already participating in a lay ministry. By this, I mean following the procedures for finding replacements for assigned liturgical and fellowship duties. This will help both lay ministry leaders as well as staff, since it saves a lot of time and ensures that the appropriate people are aware of who is scheduled for various roles. (Please recall that the easiest way to see who is scheduled to serve on a particular day is on our website. Simply scroll down to “Serving Rotas,” and click on the desired service rota.) In the months between my departure and the arrival of a new priest, many tasks previously done by me will need to shift to lay members. Your vestry and staff will be busy with many things, so the more we can work together in following established systems, the easier it will be for everyone! Thank you, in advance, for your cooperation.
3) I invite you to use this time of transition to recommit yourself to ministry participation. Your vestry (and new priest) will thank you for that! Rather than stepping back from involvement, consider diving more deeply into a ministry. This will give extra momentum to parish ministry and prepare the parish for a stronger future.
During times of waiting, concrete tasks can be very helpful in staving off anxiety and in carrying on with the work that God has called us to do. I always remember the sage advice of the late Archbishop of Canterbury Michael Ramsey who, in counseling priests, said that when malaise or torpor sets in, get up and go do something! Taking action can shift our mood and our energy in positive ways.
For months now, the vestry and I have been planning towards this time of transition. The only thing that is new to us is the definite date of my departure. I hope the knowledge of the past months’ preparation will give you comfort. And when the doubts and the anxiety creep in (as they usually do!), remember that God has a vision for us, and God will equip us to realize that vision. All we need to do is show up in prayer, listen, and then respond.
Yours in Christ,
Father Kyle